well i found my that right person .. he is wonderful .. colourful and just a very great guy. he is the best . my best . but there is always one problem .. we fight alot. and i hate it . sometime its because of him sometimes its becauase of me sometimes it not even one of us. he is my first love. and im his fourth. but he says im his last cause this is the first time he fell in love. actually falling in love.
he is the reason i stand tall today . without him, what am i ? he is the kind that he thinks he brings out the bad people .. he thinks he is destroying my life .. he thinks he is not good enough for me and he is just super confused. we broke up once . he asked for it. it was hard on the both of us. but he still loved me and so did i . he never gave me a proper reason why he wanted to split but i just gave him what he wanted . then we remain friends . i tought i lost him forever. that he would not ever want me back. so i moved on and took a chance in love again even when i know i was not ready for another relationship. he was with my best friend. he was well.. my best friend. i do love him but not like my first love. my first love found out that i was with my best friend and he was into bits. he could not take that fact. the fact that i was with another guy.
then he went all out. tryin his level best to get me back. he did't care who he hurt as long as he got me back. the things he did. the words he said. he memories we had. i knew i could not be with anyone else other than him. life is unfair i say. i just left my best friend when he was my boy friend just like that. what a slut am i ? he understood. i thank LORD everyday that until today he still is my best friend. first love first love.. i love you . to death. and i mean it . people may say.. deevia your to young to understand love and that guy won't be you last . well people .. deevia is diffrent. deevia saw many break ups and was there to see the damage of love. friend and cousin all alike.
my love is real for this dude. if anything hapens to us again. i tottaly give up on love. i don't know why .. even when he hurts me. he says things that will make you feel . does he still want me ? and shit .. i still will go on with it. he loves me and i know it . its just that sudden feeling that drives you nuts ! i just want him to know that sometimes i don't mean what i say and sometimes he make me feel like .. i don't know .. but we have been tru many happy times together .
he make me laugh .. he is always there for me .. he listen to the dumest thing i have to say and he is willing to stand my childness. he is there to catch me when i fall .. and i hope im doin the same for him.. but i always wished he would open up to me more. he is the kind of guy that keeps things to himslef so that he won't hurt others.
i love him and i want the world to know .. and i want him to understand that he is not destroying my life but made my life alive. he tought me to be strong and tought me .. when you think your in the right just carry on doin it . even when other people thinks its wrong . don't give a fuck. he is my teacher. my love. my life . my reason to belive love. i just hope we can open up more to each other so that our understanding will grow as our relationship grow. fuck all the hates and we live our lives side by side . with the people we love in hand.
= i love you=
